Unrealistic Destinations
Wow, so it’s been a minute since I wrote some things down. I can’t even confidently tell you that I know what I’ll say today either, but here we go.
Today I had what I like to call processing conversations. These conversations consist of let me yap about this and then in my head I realize something about what I just said and then I have more to yap about what I just thought about what I just said. Make sense?
It’s okay if not, it’s actually just called verbal processing. But my verbal processing reminded me of a hurdle in which my mind tends to get stuck on. Maybe yours does this too, so let me explain.
In life and specific relationships, I associate accomplishment or arriving at to a certain place as success or happiness. *How school-minded is this*
Essentially, I can view conflicts, difficulties or miscommunications very despairingly and get hung up on the ‘bad’ aspect. I don’t see past that hurtle.
Conflict can be talked through, a hard exam week will eventually pass, sadness may stay for the night, but joy comes in the morning, and a long to-do list will eventually be checked off. These are all positives, sun-shining upsides. However, obsessing on getting to a specific moment where we don’t feel conflict, stress, sadness, or large responsibility isn’t always a. the location we arrive and b. the point of what we’re experiencing
A. The location we arrive is not guaranteed to turn out positively. We might feel sad over something for a long, long time. We might have a busy schedule that we don’t have much power to change for the present time. We might be doing a job we don’t like, etc, etc.
B. The point of what we’re experiencing could have deeper purpose for why we’re going through it. Maybe some relational conflict means you really should check your pride? Or how about stressing over something you’re totally prepared for, and you need to shift your anxiety and stress to the right place. The point could even be to see your identity and worth isn’t in other people while you experience hurt and disappointment from them.
When I look at life and relationships like a place to arrive, I’m not doing myself a favor. I’m not seeing the blessings of the present. But the present isn’t what anyone ever wants to think about!
Dreams about goal accomplishment, when feeling ‘right’ again will come, or obsession with gaining physical things in life will leave you coming back to the same dreams. Looking to what we’re currently in, where we’re at, and how to face the day and LOVE and appreciate it is important if you struggle with this like I do.
We miss out on a lot when we’re getting stuck on always achieving or reaching. Let’s be kind to ourselves and be reminded that we’re always moving through things. I still feel like I’m trying to reach a destination sometimes, and that’s probably just how I’m wired, but I’m challenging myself to challenge the way I think. And it might take many more verbal processing conversations until I do, but that’s today’s two sense, anyway.
P.S. Happy Fall
With lots of love,
Meg
